cafechap
semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

meowvgonspengler

tinalikesbutts:

callyoumaybe:

royalturkeyz:

thewordsmithy:

singoffkey:

satanss-nipples:

ask-the-homestuck-crew:

smashing-articles-of-footwear:

spadesslick:

horror—terrors:

fun fact: If you separate the 4 and the 2 making them different numbers. Then translate them into Japanese  shi, and ni. Then put the words together, shini, it means death (shini-gami = god of death). So knowing that

The answer to the ultimate question… of life, the universe, and everything is…

death.

That fact is not fun.

Well, the number 4 in Japanese can also be translated to Yon. So if we have the words Yon and Ni and then put them together, it is yonni, which translates to nothing (as far as i know) in Japanese, however, in Sanskrit, it means vagina. 

So therefore, the answer to the ultimate question….of life, the universe, and everything is…

vagina

Life comes from the vagina only to be later greeted by death.

42

i just hit myself in the face my phone

Not so fun fact: Douglas Adams actually states that 42 was a random number that he picked off the top of his head and had no hidden, deeper meanings.

It was a joke. It had to be a number, an ordinary, smallish number, and I chose that one….I sat at my desk, stared into the garden and thought ‘42 will do’. I typed it out. End of story.” - Douglas Adams

That’s the beauty in it.

Fandom, “They author put so much meaning into the number 42 and look how meaningful it is!”

Author, “Lolz 42 will do.”

Literally English teachers